Stuff I'm not posting to Facebook
You know your life has changed when you are reading a blog of people who talk about how they "CD" and they're talking about cloth diapering, not cross-dressing.

So. I've been needing some new clothes after losing some weight, but I need to save money. So I figured thrift stores might be the way to go. I was planning on going thrift store shopping tomorrow, but there's a vintage store right next to the coffee house I'm hanging at tonight, so I thought I'd stop in.

Being plus-sized, shopping at thrift and vintage has been kind of a challenge for me in the past. Usually there's like two dresses anywhere near my size, and one's gingham and the other one is a florescent paisley caftan. So it's not always an experience I relish. But I figure I'd better give it a try - Lane Bryant is too expensive, and I'm sick of it anyway.

So I go over to the larger size dresses and immediately spot this beautiful robin egg blue dress with a flared skirt and some white trim around the neck. I hoped after hope I could squeeze into it. The nice saleslady came over and picked some other stuff out for me.

So I tried a bunch of dresses on.

The robin egg blue one was actually *too big*. One of the other ones almost fit me, but it was too small in the boobs.

There are worse problems to have. :)

Some of them were too small. I fit into 3, and bought 2. I'm wearing one right now - a pretty navy dress with white buttons.

I'm not sure how this is supposed to save me money, exactly, because it means I just spent $42, but...

I'm sitting at Epoch in my new dress and I am pleased.

Emo Girl and Her Projects
So. I've been talking with a friend of mine about my life and the change I want to see take place. He suggested I post to facebook or lj more often about my progress and about what I'm struggling with. I don't know. I got my lj account years ago but didn't post much to it because I felt weird broadcasting my feelings about stuff to people. Never mind that I'll tell almost anybody what I'm thinking in real life. I'm the sort of person who'll tell a stranger her whole life story. But when it comes to having personal information not in my direct control, or written down, I'm a clam.

So here's my experiment. I'm going to try being more revealing on lj about my life goals on hopes that talking about this crap will help me clarify my thoughts about those goals and commit to making the change I want to see happen in my life happen.

So here's what's on my mind.

First off, I had weight loss surgery last May and I'm still in a process of trying to get healthier and exercise more. That goal is well underway, I just need to stick to it.

Secondly, I have embarrassing amounts of debt that I need to get rid of, and especially in this economy I need some sort of cash cushion to help me if anything goes wrong.

Third, a major motivation for getting healthy and becoming more financially stable is that I want to have a child. I just turned 39 my last birthday, and there really is no time to waste. I'm going to wait until May to give myself enough time after my surgery, and in hopes I can improve my financial situation, and then I want to start trying.

Lastly, if I could find a serious partner, that'd be great, but I fear that'd only distract me from my other goals. If I were seriously dating someone, I might feel pressure to wait to have a kid until it was convenient for them like I felt when I was with Sasha, and I really don't want to let anything get in my way. Also, I tend to always put my love life before absolutely everything else, and consequently lose focus. So while I'd like someone to share a life with, I think my tendency in the past year or so to gravitate towards people who can't be that for me has been my unconscious way of keeping myself safe.

So those are my goals, and what's been preoccupying my thoughts. I don't know if they're attainable, I don't know if I can find a second job to help me pay down debt or if I'll even be fertile, but that's what I'm going to try for. I'll post updates on my thoughts and if I get any words of encouragement, that'll be a nice bonus.

So this is what's going on in my life.

Baby's First Meme
Describe me in one word... just one single word. Positive or negative.

Leave your word in a comment before looking at what words others have used.

Then copy and paste the meme to your journal to find out how people will describe you when limited to one word.

Badtz Maru Bass:

The Five Geek Social Fallacies
So true of large gatherings of geeks.

(Thanks to Ny for the link :) )

Dinner Haiku
Captious kittle cat
Tabescent tabby tender
Tunafish for two

Just one big Meh.
The bit about dates being like jobs is true...somehow you can only find em, when you're already occupied.

That said, it's just as well. I'm a little fed up with it all anyway, and I have stuff to do. I want the whole package, brains, heart, chemistry, potential. And I really haven't been picky enough.

I'm theoretically looking forward to having the time to do my own thing now I'm single, but am not getting enough momentum to get the ball rolling at the moment. Or at least the Xmas tree in the dumpster.

So, I'm looking to get out and about. Anyone wanna go see a movie or a show or something in the next few days?

Also, anyone got a gym they go to regularly? It's time to join again, I'd rather go to one where I have friends.

Time for peppier music while I clean house.

Peppy song, depressing title
Why is it that the world's peppiest song has the title 'Sometimes I Wish I Was Dead'?

Speak And Spell is far and away my favorite Depeche Mode album.

New sound all around
You can hear it too
Get it hot, never stop
Just for me and you
Playing on my radio
And saying that you had to go

New day, turn away
Wipe away the tear
New night, feel alright
Knowing that you're here
Dancing with you all the time
And don't you think that it's a crime

Back street, never meet
Never say goodbye
I know where you go
But I don't know why
You say that it's from above
And I say "this is modern love?"

My first entry
...was written as an exercise in procrastination. No surprise. At least I'm not playing freecell.


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